Kim Jong-Illest

This week artist John Hageman and made in Korea writer Eric Tolles forgo our usual alliterative format to serenade you with a song celebrating the passing of the Jong!

Comin’ straight outta Korea
the yellow fevah
K to the I-M
J-O-N the original G, I-L
Yo, ladies you need this pill
I got more water slides
than you got digits
I don’t trust no midgets
ship ’em off to private islands
too short for breeding residents
I’m a democratic killa
I remade that green nigga Godzilla
With an iron hand I rule the back nine
11 holes-in-one, my swing be fine
The Shining Star of P. Mountain
that be one of a dozen appellations
That clown McDonald be toutin’
straight poutin’
He frontin’ he invented the hamburger?
Let me tell you something, you red-haired fair-eee
I came up with that shit back in nineteen forty-three
I got bitches hand-picking my rice
grain by grain I got ’em testing
while I be straight restin’
kick back
700 thousand in Cognac
I’ve feasted from lobster to donkey
even 25 pound giant hybrid rabbits
I scored from some round-eyed honky
L to the E to the G
to the motherfuckin’ IT
I swear, I ain’t even ever taken a shit!

(for Amiko, my yellow sister)

Rap song by Eric Tolles
Illustration by John Hageman Jr.

All material copyright © 2012


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s